Herzeleid
by deadliving
Summary: Sometimes Love is hateful. Tormenting and homicidal. Forbidden love is the most dangerous. But it is also the best. CxF, Rated T, but may change.
1. Hit and Run

**Yes, This is a CuddlesxFlaky story.**

**Oh, I'm a heretic, with memes branching from the FlippyxFlaky superorganism that has latched on to your mind.**

**Call me anything you want, but this is a good sign.**

**A realization has brought me back to the days of 'The shy the bold and the dead' and 'The flippy song' , when instead of asking 'what can these characters do for me?' I asked 'What can I do for these characters?'.**

**My friend helped me realize that. Thanks Liam if you're reading.**

**Enjoy 'Herzeleid' (Which means 'heartache' or 'heartbreak' in English).**

Cuddles and Flaky stand at an intersection, cloaked in heavy, pale trench coats. Flaky looks around worriedly, heart beating faster as every car drives by. "Cuddles, I don't think this is a very smart idea.

Cuddles laughs loudly. "This isn't like the incident at the airport! Plus, we have clothes under the trenchcoat! Its totally not illegal, and it'll be fun!" Flaky shakes her head. "I'll show you that street scares are perfectly safe!" Cuddles walks out to the middle of the street, taking Flaky with him, before Flaky could say no. A semi-trailer came into view, speeding along the road. Flaky looked closer, and the truck tires were chewing through roadkill, and the truck was swerving back and forth erratically. Flaky, scared stiff, attempted to motion for Cuddles to get off the road. Cuddles sighs, acting like he didn't see her fear. Cuddles gasps, but the truck comes too quickly. Cuddles pushes Flaky onto the side walk, ans Flaky looks away, while the truck's wheels grind up Cuddles. It jackknifes, taking Flaky along with it. Caught right above the wheels, Flaky screams for her life. The truck rolls, almost crushing Flaky. It rolls back onto it's wheels, and skids towards an electrical transistor.  
The truck comes to a stop, livewires inches from Flaky's face. She opens her eyes and sighs in relief. Suddenly, a surge of electircity archs from the wire to Flaky's wet nose. The skin and sinew peel away from her cheeks, and her skull glows with the charge of electrity. Finally, electricty leaps from Flaky's quills to the liquid oxygen in the truck, incinerating Cuddles, Flaky, and The Mole.

Flaky awakes to blinding artificial lights overhead. She blinks, eyes slowly adjusting to the streaming rays of light. She turns her head, and sees the outline of Cuddles, in bandages. His eyes remained closed, but he had a half-smile on his face, as if he died doing what he loves. Which he did. Flaky turns to look at her bandaged body. Toothy was standing over her, studiously scribbling on his clipboard. He briefly glances up, then back down at his work. "Glad to see your awake, Flaky." he says dryly, his attention in his clipboard.

She gives a weak smile, and decides to take a short nap.

* * *

Flaky flexes her arm, testing her muscles, to see if everything is working properly. She smiles, and stands up. She spies Cuddles's eye flicker open. She smiles.

"What happened?" he moans, lethargic and in pain. She leans down and kisses his cheek.

"Thank you for saving me. It was heroic, aside from the fact it was in vane." She smiles. He smiles aswell.

"I'd have done it anytime." he sighs. Flaky leaves the room silently. Moments later, Toothy enters with the clipboard.

"Flaky said you woke up, as I can see. So how are you?" Toothy asked flatly, eyes glued to the clipboard.

"Fine. I feel the wounds healing." he replies. "Toothy, can I ask you a friend-to-friend question?"

"Sure, Cuddles. What is it?" he asks, looking up from his board excitedly.

"Nevermind, I'm just insane."

"Nah, you can tell me anything, we're buddies!"

"No..."

"Come on, guilt kills forever."

"I don't think you'd handle it like you have with the other secrets..."

"I promise, I will keep it under wraps, I can handle it! Just tell!"

"Well, I think I have a crush on Flaky." Toothy's eyes roll back in his head and he faints.


	2. Illegal Download

**Bozhemoi! Scheisse! Alelujah!**

**Did you ever think you'd see this story again did you?**

**Well, here be the Next Chapter of Herzeleid!**

Flaky's eyes darted about the Street. You never know if a pedophile or psycho-killer is hiding behind the next fence or tree. You'd be suprised who she found: Giggles suggested an internet site to keep track of Disco Bear. The site kept track of sex offenders by the chips inserted in their skin. The whole town was bright red with offenders. They might be plotting to rape her. Disco Bear, and Flippy, and Fritz, and Nutty, and all the little dots are probably thinking 'The Girl in 5A knows, we rape her at 13 o'clock'. They might break Josef Fritzl out of jail, and lock her in a basement with him, and then later, they'd whack off to her scre-

"Hey Flaky!" Handy shouts from across the street. He had oil and grease dripping from his cheek. A Wrench was strapped to his right nub, which clanged it's hinges together as the nub went up and down.

She gives a half-hearted smile. "Hey, Handy."

He rubs some sweat off his cheek on his shoulder, and cocks his head to the side. "What're you thinking about?"

Flaky's eyes grow to saucers. "Why do you ask that!" She shouts in a meek voice.

Handy gives a hardy laugh, nubs now clinging his chest (if they could). "Have you been watching _Un Chien Andalou, _Flaky?"

Flaky's eyes thin to slits. A Horrid immage of a razor cutting across the moon and her eyes appears. "You're with the government aren't you!" She shouts in a shrill voice. She screams and runs away.

Handy, meanwhile shrugs and returns to his work. "I personally though Bunuel and Dali outdid themselves. But I suppose she is entitled to her own opinion."

* * *

Cuddles and Toothy waited at the bus stop. Toothy was explaining his plan to Cuddles in a loud, almost exxagerated voice. "...And Flaky will become so paranoid she won't leave her house. You infiltrate the house saying the Theistic Creationist Buggers from Uranus spared your life because of your lucky rabbit's feet. Then you show her how gentlemanly you can be by making a feast out of horticultural plants. Then bing bang boom, you two are snogging or vertical monster mashing!" He says, voice rising and falling randomly.

Cuddles stares at the beaver increduously. "When do you think of this stuff?"

The Beaver, unimpacted by the look given by the rabbit, grins. "When we die, I spend an hour in hell talking to Einstein, Frued, and JFK."

Cuddles's face turned to a look of alarm. "Alright...I'm getting an excorcist when this is over."

Toothy shot the bunny a scornful look. "Here comes your goi'lfriend."

"There goes your Jersey-ness." Cuddles retorts. He pushes Toothy into the poison Ivy bushes next to the bus stop. Cuddles sits on the bus stop bench, whistling calmly. Flaky sits herself on the opposite side of the Bench, smiling lackadaisically at the yellow rabbit. Cuddles begins to slide towards the porcupine, hoping to wrap his arm over her shoulder. He collides with someone a little too tall to be Flakes...

Lumpy looks down at Cuddles contemptuously. Flaky rolls her eyes.

The Bus arrives at the stop and the three board. The Bus then pulls away.

Toothy, leaps out of the bushes, blotchy red, shouting and scratching himself spastically. He runs down the street following the bus. A Rock picked up by the bus tires is tossed into Toothy's eye, and the change in pressure in his head pushes the other from it's socket, and blood pours from both sockets.

The Three are walking through the aisle, looking for a place to sit on the crowded bus. Flaky sits alone in the back. Cuddles smiles, and grabs a bunch of flowers from a bouquette carried by Lifander. A bee is disturbed by the sudden removal of it's pedestal, and flies around angrily, until it stings Lifander in the temple, killing him instantly.

Lumpy sits down next to Flaky however, forcing Cuddles to sit next to Fritz, who was smuggling (likely) weapons. Fritz glowers at the flowers. "I'm reserved for Cub." he says haughtily. Cuddles gives the beaver a distressed look.

The Rides wasn't very long, though it seemed interminable. The AK-47 under Fritz's arm kept jabbing Cuddles in the side, and Flaky ignored Cuddles. The Three got off at the Malt shop. The three enter the shop, where Lumpy finally departs from the two. Cuddles sits right across from Flaky. "Hey Flakes!"

The porcupine looks around startled. "Where you following me?" she asks.

"No, I was just going to the malt shop to get some delicious milkshake." he says cordially.

Flaky then gives the rabbit a warmer smile. "Good." she spat frankly.

"Two Milkshakes for me and _mein Fraueline_." He shouts to The Mole. The Mole shakes his head, and gives a thumbs up. He scoops ice cream into a dish, adding (accidentally) Vodka, arsenic, kerosene, amber, and goat's blood (Polish Goat blood I may add).

Toothy, comes running up to the Malt shop., opening the door, only to have the heavy door shut on his swinging eye, sending it flying into Cuddles' 'milkshake'. The Mole gingerly puts two straws into the cup, and sets it on the table. Flaky glares at the red and gold mixture.

Cuddles was about to wrap his lips around the straw when Flaky smacks it to the floor, shouting in a shrill voice, "It's been contaminated by Love Canal!"

Katz looks over her shoulder, indignantly.

"Why'd you ruins a perfectly good milkshake?" Cuddles shouts.

Flaky blushes, "The Government adds AIDs to strawberry milkshakes to kill off the minority!" Cuddles sighs.

Lumpy, meanwhile was walking to the little Retarded Animal Baby's room, when he steps on Toothy's eye which spillt out onto the ground. He looks down, and screams, running out of the Malt Shop. The Door swings open, send Toothy flying into Nutty and his motor scooter. The Scooter runs out of control, sending both into a stack of pipes. The Pipe are pushed forward, cutting a perfectly circular hole in Fritz's stomach.

Lumpy leaps into Handy's tow truck, which for some odd reason was attached to the Malt shop. It pulls off the resturant off it's foundations, instantly killing Katz, The Mole, and The Band Homeotic Fry. Flaky and Cuddles are forced to run with the shop or be crushed.

Lumpy drives the Truck into the Stack of pipe that previously killed Nutty, Toothy, and Fritz, halting the truck and Building. Lumpy awakens from the crash, moaning. "What the hell!" the moose moans, totally ignorant of the destruction he had caused. The Chord had tangled itself around Lumpy's skull. The Moose pushes down on the gas, sending pipes that had lodged under the wheel into the air.

Flaky and Cuddles step out of the building, both warily looking around. They give faint smiles, when they are impaled in the mouthes.

Lumpy struggles in the cabin of the car as the tow cable pulls his skull from his head. It finally tears open his head at the jaw, sending his skull flying back, finally lodging in the cable-collector.

Back with the two impaled mammals, Cuddles's body slides down the pipe, until his lips meet Flaky's. Cuddle's eye twitches, and he would've smiled if he could. Finally, he sinks into the inky blackness of Death.

**Now, listen to the Terminator very closely...**

**You shall press dat button mit da green lettering, **

**und type a review of dis horrible chaptor,**

**DO IT! DO IT NAUGH!**


	3. Intent to Kidnap

**He rapes his daughter,**

**She kills her husband.**

**Ain't that a happy Family? :P**

**Fritz: Is there a problem at home?**

Cuddles wakes up surrounded by clouds, all purple, pink with intermingled white. Divine light streamed through the clouds above. Was he in...no he couldn't be. There was no such thing. It was like the Wild West or Dan Cooper, It never existed. But like New Orleans flooding, it was there.

Heaven. Toothy wasn't crazy, although he probably was sitting among flames talking to an autistic savant, an incestuous psychologist, and JFK.

One would think a lot of people would be in heaven. Not a soul. No Jesus, No God as far as he could tell. No Mohammed or Zeus, or for that matter, no Bruce Lee. The Rabbit began to feel lonely, sitting down, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Everything stood completely still. The clouds retained their shape, never budging an inch. It was the color of the sky that caught his attention.

Half was a Dawn Pink, the other was Evergreen. It was so lava Lamp like, each side sending small bubbles into the other, expanding and contracting arms that jutted deep into the other color. The edge at which they touched, they ungelated like dancing crowds. as each olor descended to the inevitable horizon, it turned darker, like the sky he knew and loved. Such an alien scene...

Again he looks at the nothingness of clouds surrounding him. It was still motionless. He stood, overlooking the meadow of low bushy clouds. He begins walking, not truly knowing or caring where he went, just if to find the God that supposedly ruled over this realm of white clouds.

After an Hour of walking through nowhere, he spied red grass. He did a Doubletake. Red Grass? WTF!

He had to investigate this red grass. Upon closer inspection, they turn out to be quills, with dandruff impaled on each quill. Attached to the quills was a quivering porcupine. Cuddles knelt down, and placed a friendly hand upon her shoulder. Cuddles is thrown backward in a torrent of multicolored lights, accompanied by the tumultuous sound, like sand being sucked into a vaccuum.

He sits up, looking back at Flaky. She awakens, gasping for breath. He scrambles about, finally pulling himself up to Flaky.

"Flaky, are you okay?" he asks, hesitantly.

She gasps, spitting out a chunk of cloud she probably inhaled. "I'm alright, Cuddles." she smiles faintly.

"We died." Cuddles said frankly.

Flaky snickers, "No shit, Cuddy."

"Well, I was just saying. I've never been awake after I die. It's terrifying, actually..." Cuddles says.

Flaky looks around. "Purgatory isn't like this."

"Purgatory, with your kind of behavior, I thought you'd be dancing in heaven with Mormons and Canaans."

"We all have little flaws." she spits at the rabbit, indignant. "I wasn't a good daughter."

"So? Canaans hate people who speak romantic languages. They go to heaven!"

"Cuddles, just get off the subject."

They sat silently for a few more moments.

"So what do we do?" Cuddles asks. "Nobody is here besides us."

"I don't know." she says, shrugging.

"What did you do that was so naughty?" Cuddles ask, garnering a mean-spirited look from Flaky. Cuddles simply smiles.

"I'm just asking. I grafiti churches and synagogues! I admit that." he says.

She hung her head, debating whether she should admit her sins. Cuddles craned his neck to look her in the eyes. "It's alright. Nothing is wrong with doing something wrong."

Flaky sighs. "I accidentally set my house on fire. It killed my parents, and left me homeless."

Cuddles nods. "There's nothing wrong with that. Lumpy killed many people, and he's still a good person. You are a good person, don't let anything tell you otherwise."

Flaky smiles, and wraps her arms around Cuddles's shoulders. "I love you Cuddles." Cuddles blushes.

"What do you want to do. We still have an hour or two." Cuddles asks, wrapping his arm around Flaky.

She pushes it off. "Do you know how to Dance?"

Cuddles smiles. "Sure."

They stand up facing each other. They lock left hands, and Cuddles puts his hand on Flaky's hip. The two dance around in the clouds, the sky ungelating in a melodic pattern.

Toothy and Samiri observe the two from afar. Flames dance around them, in hell. The Skeletal Cow had whipped up this dreamland for the two amongst the flames of hell. Toothy looks up at the Skeletal Cow's face. "Thanks Dude." Toothy says with a smile.

The Demon looks down at the Beaver. "Don't mention it. You have Your father's soul?"

Toothy shakes his head, "Sorry, I gave it to that guy over there." He says, pointing to a man in denim jeans and jacket with a smiley face button. He gives Samiri an Arrogant smile, then disappears in a poof of smoke.

"DAMNIT FLAGG!"

**Less romantic, considering they are dancing in hell...**

**But review!**


	4. Disturbing the Peace

**My friend and I were thinking of Alternate Timelines, and we get into a Discussuion about Drugs, like Marijuana and LSD.**

**He mentions that the governor of Wisconsin almost created LSD (or LAD in the Alt Timeline) during the 20s, and he goes on to examine this in depth, if there was an 'Acid Jazz Age'.**

**I respond "Oh my God, you're giving Dali, Bunuel, and the Surrealists LSD. Good Jesus Christ!"**

Flippy had no family. He had friends, albiet, very wary, nervous friends. He was like a yandere. Except he truly _hates_ people to death.

Flippy was an outstanding member of the community, and one celebrated veteran of the Acron War and Tilder Springs conflict+3rd Tiger Crusades. He helps in every fundraising event for every charity. He volunteers 40 hrs a week.

But below this subsurface of kindness, there lie a Plutonian Beast with a heart made from the blood of the innocent.

Hatred and sex flowed through this being's mind like salmon in a river. His, was so humanlike, that the Nature of his being spoiled, contorting he Reptilian and Mammalian brain lying in wait below the milk of human kindness, set upon a scaffold of personal trauma. His was inconceivably evil, so wretched a soul, Neither God nor Mayor Street in Hell would accept such an evil Soul.

Neither Sentient nor Supernatural Being would dare awaken such a demonic creature.

Flaky and Cuddles wake up in seperate hospital beds, at the same time as each other. Sniffles was hovering over the two, monitoring their vital signs.

In blank, uncaring monotone, he mutters offhandedly, "Hello, You two."

Cuddles thought quite frankly, Sniffles was being a kraut. But, seeing as he went to heaven, and wanted to stay there, he decided not to say anything. "Hello, Sniffles." he says with a smile.

Flaky didn't want to stay awake, instead she tried with all her might to return to slumber. Cuddles let her rest, getting out of his hospital bed, escaping outside to the freedom of the public. He smiled at the new day in front of him.

"_Oh no, I have no regrets_..." he says, reciting an old French song. His heart was aflutter, and floating up to the heavens in which he danced only hours before.

"_Not the good done to me, nor the bad_!" He sings, leapfrogging over Cookie the Sloth. The Sloth took many long minutes to turn and shake his fist at the hooligan.

"_It's all the same to me_!" He chants, elbowing between Shifty and Lifty, pushing them into piles of garbages on either side of the sidewalk.

"_Oh no, then and again," _He sang, leaping over Nutty, whose ice cream then fell upon his stomach, and then the ground. Licking like a dog, the top of his head was sheered off by an oncoming truck.

"_Oh no, I regret nothing_." He spins across the street, causing The Mole and Lammy to swerve, and collide with each other.

"_For my life, For my Joy_," He leaps onto a bench, startling Fritz who was sleeping on the bench. He mutters a few curses in Native Deutsch.

"_On this day, will begin with Flaky_!" He says, finishing in _forte,_ lengthening 'Flaky'.

An Egg meets his face, and Cuddles turns to see Disco rollerblading around the fountain, holding some eggs. "Go back to Corsica, Pussy!"

"Get out of the '80s!" Cuddles retorts.

"Vet entering the Flame wars here," Flippy says, glancing at the quabbling two.

"Cuddy was being a french Pussy, singing '50's songs" Disco snarks.

"Disco, we don't discriminate based on Nationality, Creed, or Sex." Flippy scolds.

"_You _don't, but I'm perfectly fine being an 'asshole'." Disco snorts.

"Cuddles, why were you singing something from the 50's?" Flippy asks, ignoring the bigotous bear.

"Edith Piaf? She's classic. I felt so happy, 'cause Flaky and I are in love!" Cuddles spits at the bear, uncontrolled happiness evident.

"Flaky, Lucky Boy." Flippy says smiling.

"Thanks, Flips. You're the awesomest friend ever." Cuddles says.

Flippy smiles nods, and walks away. Cuddles tiptoed away on lucky rabbits feet, humming the mellow, soft tune of 'No, je ne regrette rien'. Disco went on rotating around the fountain.

As soon as the door shuts, Flippy slaps himself. "BITCH!" screams a voice vaguely like his own, much more gravelly, and basal.

"I'm sorry, I'll get you her," Flippy whimpers.

"YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME A WOMB TO BEAR LIFE. OR YOU'll BE DRAGGED TO HELL WITH ME!" the voice shouts.

Not of his own will, Flippy slips brass knuckles over both fists. He stand up, sobbing like a school girl that skinned her knee. If he only skinned his knee.

With a force enough to break through the walls, Flippy brings his clenched fist to his cheek. "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT BITCH?"

Flippy continues weeping, tears streaming down his face. Another fist cracks his cheekbone. Blood gushes from his nose, and his salty tears burn his nose.

"YOU ARE ONLY A PUPPET. I CONTROL YOU. UNDERSTAND!"

"Yes!" he utters through constant sobs.

"YES WHO!"

"Yes, sir."

Blood rushes back into Flippy's nose. his cheek bones reexpand. Not a soul could tell what happened.

"You are only a puppet from which I move about in the world. Fetch me a Womb Before I send you to Hell." Flippy nods.

"Good puppet." the voice utters.

Flippy weeps some more. "Get over yourself pussy," the voice spits, as Flippy walks up the stairs to his room.

**Short.**

**Yes, it was a bit antisemetic, Phoenix. But America has always been that way, and I shouldn't expect to see miraculous change in 40 years.**

**I'll give the person who guesses who Evil/Flippy are based on, a CARVED up bar of Caramel. Another bar of Caramel for the person who guesses who wrote the song sung in the Chapter.**

**Review!**

**OR YOU WILL SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF NIPAHVIRUS!**


	5. Sexual Solicitation

**The Song was by Edith Piaf.**

**La Vie en Rose, ist rote...wie ein Rose!**

Cuddles took in a deep breath. He was bold, but never at doing _these_ things. _These _things were usually what made Cuddles into a March Hare. Cuddles raised his Bouqette, and meticulously examined each flower, swiftly decapitating unripened buds and flawed pedals. This was something OCD Petunia would do on a weekend. Never would he do something as tedious as Prune flowers.

Blood halted in his veins, and turned cold at the thought of asking Flaky out. Feelings for each other were as mutual as mutual could be, but still, his heart froze upon the thought of the most beautiful Flaky. He was sweating now, thinking about the porcupine.

He just had to confront her and tell her, on the doorstep of her house. He rings the doorbell, and waits in bitter silence for the girl of his dreams to open the door. She opens the door warily, a shotgun held loosely in her hand. She looks upon Cuddles and smiles, tossing aside the burly shotgun.

"Hi Cuddles. How are you?" She asks.

Cuddles takes a deep breath, and sighs. "Flaky," he uttered.

"Yes, Cuddles?" she asks, leaning forward for the answer she apparently did not sense.

"Would you go out with me?" He says, holding out the Bouquette.

She smiles happily, taking hold of the Bouquette. "Thank You, Cuddles!"

Cuddles's ears rose like a mast upon a yacht. His ears betrayed his feeling, no matter the secrecy involved. It was something he worked upon numerous times, but had failed. At his cousin's wedding in Watership Down, when his ears shot up at the sight of the ...beautiful... Bride, he was tossed out.

"...But," she adds. Cuddles ears flop down upon his face like egg yolk streaming down his forehead.

"...I am getting ready to go to my Aunt's house, in Zweistadt. I was leaving in a few minutes." Flaky explains, rubbing her shoulder. Cuddles ears were almost down to his legs, and he felt broken inside. The Great Wall it took for him to work up the courage to ask Flaky out, was undermined by a few words.

"So..." Cuddles half-groaned, trying to get his mind on a different subject, "Do you need help loading the car?"

Flaky sighs, sensing the atmosphere. "No. I just need to set my traps for the burgalers. I don't need help with that."

Cuddles backs off the porchstep. "So, I'll see you in a few days?"

Flaky smiles a coffee shop clerk smile, pleasently amused by his uncomfort. "Sure, Cuddy."

With that, She shut the door, and Cuddles returned home.

* * *

_Cuddles was waltzing through a greycolored Zweistadt. Things were scaled more to the dark side, and he came through the narrow street. Cuddles easily recognised the place, but it was a landscape of blacks, greys, and whites. Then, in brilliant orange light, she came in a glittery dress, which sent shimmering light across the entire street. Cuddles looked upon his shammy attire, and instantly blushed at his situation._

_She gave a leisurely, snob smile towards him. She accepted him as a friend, and her smile gave the fact away like a salesman. He gave a half smile, accepting her, but not himself._

_She opened her mouth, but out came lyrical Porcupine-tongue, instead of standard English. Lapine and Cavy were like Spanish and German, alike enough to understand a few words, but not sentences. He shrugged and smiled. She appeared not to be happy about this, and began shouting at him. He shrank where he stood. Her mouth spat lustful and threatening words into his face. It was calmly enjoyable for Cuddles. The Suspense of what would happen next was turning the rabbit on. _

_The Dream switches realities, and he was naked. He looked upon his body with disgust. It would not meet any womans standards. A bit flabby and short. Cuddles hated the sight. Flaky was disturbingly happy, examining his body with lustful excitement. She had a cheeky smile upon her face, like his body was in fact as silly as he thought it was. _

_Flaky was stripped as well, and examined his body with a prodding tool similar to a fondue stick. She was talking about his anatomy in the light mannered Cavy. She then kissed him passionately, an alter ego to the prodding, angered Flaky. Her lips were soft, and Cuddles wanted to touch them for eternity. It felt like an eternity, before they pulled away._

_Cuddles stood, stupefied and excited, with a goofy half-smile upon his face. Again she shouted the Hatefully beautiful words into his face, and they fell upon his lap like hail on a tree. _

_She let him play around with her, and the experience was quite sensational for Cuddles. The World filled with color as they fondled with each other, exploring each other's nether regions. A Bright shining yellow filled is visage, as did red with her's. _ _Static filled the Blue sky around them as their excitement grew_._ Cuddles and Flaky finally calmed down. They exchanged words of Jibberish, with no meaning at all. Still in each other's arms, Cuddles kissed Flaky on the cheek, and she returned the kiss._

_Such a wonderful time came to an end, as Cuddles let go of Flaky, Color and structure in the world faded. every color in the spectrum filtered into a deep crimson, blood color. The Buildings of Zweistadt melted, withering into puddles of blood. Flaky herself was melting into blood, with a cheeky smile and rosy cheeks plastered to her face._

Cuddles woke up, panting, sweat beading down his forehead. Cuddles could feel his manhood swollen to capacity, and he tried to take in calm breaths. He glanced around. Everything was as it was when he fell asleep.

Cuddles already had Dali-esque dreams. He would NOT be able to Tolerate A Boogeyman living with him.

**Review or Flame.**

**I put eastery Eggs in there.**

**Enjoy your lives.**


	6. Illegal Use of Waivers

**Welcome to the Deadliving News,**

**I am your host deadliving, and this is where absolutely nothing you people care about happens.**

**And I have revoked Hiatus, because of the Red Queen Principle:**

_If you want to stand in place, you must run very hard, to go anywhere else, you must run even harder_

**Stalin put it in a much shorter phrase**

_THOSE WHO LAG BEHIND ARE BEATEN_

**All these New Authors, I must keep up with them, with such talent!**

**Without further adue:**

Flippy entered the bar, Clint Eastwood style, drawing everybody's attention towards the big bear in town. He surveyed the dimly lit room, with some men dancing, a small band playing a smooth jazz song, and many a drunkards stooped over upon the bar stool. There, on the bar stool, he saw his target. He lifts a leg to move forward when a calamitous noise jolts the patrons awake.

The Mole slapped his hands on to the piano like he was beating a rug. Sour notes danced out, like a torrent of tumultuous noise. He ceased, raising his ready hands above the piano. He lets them down slowly, feeling about for the sharps and flats, before continuing his clatter in a soft melody, like a jazz tune. His fingers danced over the keys, with beautiful notes sounding accordingly.

The Mole's Cover of 'Welcome to the Jungle', as the tune appeared to be, was not really a welcome sound, for it appeared to hav awakened the demon in his head. He had been driven here by The Demonic voice in his head. '_Where is my womb?' _It demanded. '_Come on, pussy, any rapist can get like 20 chicks by now!' _He shouts.

"Why don't you go bother them?" Flippy thought aloud.

His fist collides with his face moments thereafter.

"S_ay that again, I will personally reach into your heart, and make you eat your aeorta."_ He barks.

Flippy sniffles, and continues on to his objective, feeling like Lewis Caroll's Alice: Alice was searching for a rabbit as well. Then again, what alice did with the Rabbit was probably very different from what Flippy aimed to do with him.

The Soldier placed a hand upon the yellow rabbit's shoulder. He barely moved, stooped over, drunk. "What?" came a dull groan from the Lapine.

"Cuddles, It's Flippy." the bear says, shaking the rabbit. "What's wrong here, buddy?"

"Flaky left...only for a we-eeek, but SHE LEFT!" he spat. It didn't take the booze on his breath or the slurred speech to tell the rabbit was drunk: he was barely maintaining an equilibrium of balance, for God's Sake!

"Cuddles, I'm here with...uh...," Flippy paused. He felt a jolt in his head as the demon took over. He couldn't resist as he was abuse like a puppet. These words were not his, "..a proposition"

"Lay it on meh, 'GOT Nofing to l-ose." Cuddles said.

"I have a deal with the devil, you see." Demon Flippy explains, "I'mma going to Hell if I don't get laid."

"Aiw-int we in hell aready, Mah Boi?" Cuddles says, finishing with a laugh.

Flippy laughs... on the inside, atleast. "Yeah, when Flaky Returns, we're gonna have to settle things the Sam Peckinpah way."

"Peck a paw, uh!" Cuddles mimiced. Blame it on the alcohol, as they say.

" I just need you to sign a special contract, 'Mah Boi'," Demon Flippy said, pulling a previously unexistant pen and paper from his jacket.

The Lapine squints. "Keh." He mutters, grabbing Flippy's pen and signing the paper.

With that, demon Flippy took himself home, to wait for the womb to return.

**Is you dog a fascist sympathist? **

**Can't put him down 'cause of the damn first amendment?**

**TIME TO USE PIKACHU!**

**Kills your dog like it was just hit by a car! Except, all cripsy and electrecuty...**

**BUY ONE TODAY!**

**(Warning: Peeing on Pikachu will result in painful, painful death.)**

**Nah, really, just review.**

**fillerfillerfillerfiller****fillerfillerfillerfiller****fillerfillerfillerfiller****fillerfillerfillerfiller****fillerfillerfillerfiller****fillerfillerfillerfiller**


	7. HitchHiking

**I don't need your forgiveness**

**I don't need your hate**

**I don't need your acceptance,**

**'Cause Rabid Weasels are over running New England,**

**And I'mma goin' to Cape Cod.**

**Imma gonna DIE MOTHERFUCKER, DIE!**

Flaky preferred Cars over the Public Trains. Who wants to be stuffed like sardines in a bus of rapist, murderers, and Tom Cruises?

Either way, fate was usually in her hands when driving, as opposed to the alternative where one idiot's sleep depravity kills hundreds. Such power should be left firmly in the hands of the People. It must be within the hands of the people. IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE IN THE HANDS OF US!

Flaky returned to reality, just in time to slam her foot on the brakes. Recovering from a swift jerk forward, she looks out over the red hood, hoping the pedestrian got away unharmed. Nothing, nothing was in the headlights. Flaky smiled, easing onto the gas and moving forward on her merry way.

It was dark as pitch beyond the headlights, with the horizon and sky barely distinguishable. This is the place where monsters feigned existence, and Stephen King really sends shivers down your spine. Flaky shivers, fearing the worst of the night.

Up ahead, standing beneath a street lamp, was Skippy. She didn't really trust the boy, but he was certainly not evil. He raised his thumb up, in the style of stereotypical hitch hikers.

She suddenly pictured Skippy decapitating her in the Window. She cringed, and slammed her foot on the gas, zooming the Furball by. He looked astonised- in the rearview mirror atleast.

POP!

Flaky gasps, as the car begins a slow roll to stop, in the darkness of the night. Standing still, Flaky paused as well, reviewing the past few seconds. Examining herself, then glancing outside for a second, she opened the car door, to behold a flattened tire. She pulled out from the trunk of the car a car jack and socket wrench, examining the viability of the object in her hand to become weapons. Visions the each object cracking open a skull made her drop them immediately. She pulls her hands to her chest, trembling.

The Socket wrench hits the ground with a clanging racket. Momentarily stunned, she stares at it as if it were a snake ready to strike. She reaches for it only to have her wrist grabbed by an unknown tan hand. She screams, too frightened to move. Another tan hand reaches from the darkness and grabs the socket wrench off the ground. Instead of bashing her brains out on the ground, it placed the wrench firmly in Flaky's hand.

the nonentity steps into the light of the headbeams, revealing himself to be Skippy. That damn squirrel thing...

"Flakes I noticed you passed me back there." Skippy says with a false smile upon his face. "Is everything Okay?"

Flaky remained silent, lip trembling from fear.

"Ah, you got lost on your way to the Panic House." Skippy said with his bright yellow smile.

She gulped in air, trying to work up a voice to answer.

"Do you need help with your flat, here?" he asks.

"Y-y-y-yes, S-s-skippy." she said.

And before she could put a period upon her sentence's ass, Skippy heralded the fixed wheel with a smile and jazzhands.

"Thank you, Skippy." she says, returning his smile. "Do you need a ride to the gas station?"

"Nope, you've made me walk half a Kilometer to this spot, I might as well continue on alone." Skippy says.

Flaky thought for a moment. A Kilometer? wasn't he just a couple hundred yards behind her? How did he get here so fast if he walked?

Skippy's logic rarely made sense. It was like reading bad Dean Koontz.

When she resumed paying attention to the world around her, Skippy was leaning upon the hood of Flaky's car. "If you run into Flippy. Never try to convince him of otherwise. Never. "

flaky looked back at her new tire, then at the hood of her car. Skippy was gone and absolutely nothing was heard from either side of the Car. She quickly leaped into her car, and sped away.

**N****З****V****ЗЯ.**

What's with the Cyrillic lettering?

**N****З****V****ЗЯ.**

That could be offensive, man. Stop It. The Chapter is over!

**N****З****V****ЗЯ.**

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING NEGATIVE!


End file.
